I'm a Bad Tipper

• One way to drink more water is to drink scotch-and-water and spit out the scotch.



• Replace sugar with salt and salt with sugar.

• One way to train for a 26.2 mile marathon is to get really good at running .2 miles and then, when you’re comfortable, add in the 26-mile part.

• Remember, when you “sabotage” your diet plans, you’re making a “sab” out of “tag” and “e” (don’t stop and try to figure that out… just keep moving on!).

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You can get into any Weight Watchers meeting by looking exactly like Jennifer Hudson.



• Never eat black cat on a weigh-in day.

• Two things that make you look trimmer are wearing dark clothing and losing weight.

• When you're at a restaurant, ask yourself one question: "What the hell am I doing at this restaurant?"

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Did you know that you can actually leave the banana skins on when you mix up a smoothie? Of course, you can't drink it then...



• Instead of taking the stairs, take the elevator. Wait, you didn't let me finish… take the elevator while doing 1,000 lunges!

I'm Feeling a Little (Health) Tipsy

• An easy way to remember to take a daily vitamin is to put 30 of them in your mouth at beginning of month and then just swallow one per day.

• Trade your power mower for a push version. If you already use a push mower, trade it in for a push mower that doesn’t have wheels.

• Instead of a glass of orange juice, which may be may be heat processed, watered down, sugared up and stored for a year, why not just drink an orange?

• One way to eat less pork is to raise a baby pig, letting it become your very best friend, and then take him on a field trip to a slaughterhouse.

• You can make good-for-you “Fruit Loops” by looping fresh fruit.

• In order to save calories, instead of 12 ounces of your favorite dish, try eating 11 ounces.

• Did you know that cheese dip isn’t really that unhealthy for your diet, according to a study published in Mexican Restaurant magazine?

• Got some old mushy bananas? Try going to the store and getting some new fresh bananas.

• Adopt the motto “after 8 is too late” for snacks after dinner, as well as the mottos “replace your Skittles with healthy vittles” and “losing weight won’t be so exhausting if you don’t eat that can of frosting.”

A Few More Holiday Health Tips

• When you're at a holiday party, one way to keep from overindulging in to lock yourself in the bathroom and play Angry Birds on your phone for three hours.

• Instead of eggnog, how about egg substitute-nog?

• You can make healthy "candy canes" by twirling lines of mushed beet paste around stalks of celery.

• If you're at a zombie holiday party, and you see a gelatinous mold in the shape of a brain, don't just assume it's Jell-O.

• Don't fill your coat pocket with ranch dressing even if it makes for more convenient dipping.

• You can burn a load of calories by going to the mall on Christmas Eve and doing all your holiday shopping.

• Print out my blog and carry it around with you at all times in case you find yourself requiring an inspirational lift.

Holiday Health Tips

• Instead of a cup of eggnog, how's about a cup of eggnot?

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When you make holiday cookies, throw a couple of stink bugs in the batter. They won't be so tempting if you're scared you'll get a stinkbug cookie.



• To curb cravings, gnaw on a pine cone.



• To get it out of your system, go to Starbucks and order a venti Gingerbread Peppermint Mocha cinnamon eggnog latte. Whoa... That's actually pretty good!

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Limiting yourself to one piece of gingerbread doesn't make it okay to eat an entire gingerbread house.



• FDA does not - I repeat does NOT - recommend that you get four to six servings of fruitcake each day.



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Speed carol.



• At holiday parties, ask hostess to please hide all delicious food out of your sight.



• Holiday stress often leads to overeating, so consider slipping into a coma for the month of December.



• On January 1, lots of folks are going to be joining gyms and clogging up the works before they quit after 2 or 3 weeks, so my advice to you is to go ahead and join a gym now so you it won't be so crowded for the 2 or 3 weeks you use it before you quit.

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Jingle all the way (or at least as much of the way as you are able).